When I found I had crossed that line, I looked at my hands to see if I was the same person. There was such a glory over everything; the sun came like gold through trees, and over the fields, and I felt like I was in Heaven.
Sometimes I feel that the greatest thing I have in my life is the sun. It sounds like a moronic, overly minimalistic thing to say, but it’s one of the greatest truths I know. Things ebb and flow in life—another over-simplification—but something we all inherently experience. We lose friends, lovers, family. We get children, more lovers, fulfilling work. We become sick, depressed, lost; then joyful, successful, loved. Holding on to the bad—or the good—ends up being foolish. Life will happen. Life will create and destroy. Life will move around you no matter what you’re grasping onto.
But the sun won’t go anywhere. The sun will alight on your face, warm you, illuminate you no matter what is happening in your life, no matter what is happening in the world. It is just the way nature, and our nature, works.
And in the moments when the sun has grabbed me, hushed my name into my ear, have been the most meaningful moments of my life.
Glory is not something you can understand until you’ve experienced it. But it is what we are all seeking. You may have tasted it, as I have, walking down a quiet street with nothing else but the sun on your cheek. Or you may have felt it vibrating in the room as a new child was brought into the world. Really, it’s indescribable. But if you’ve felt it, you know. It crushes your facade into tears as your soul lifts its heart up into that golden light.
So, take comfort (I don’t say that lightly), because the sun will always be there, and it is yours. Really. Yours as much as anyone or anything else’s. And inside its beauty is the glory you seek.
And that is what you are seeking. You, soul-searcher, are not looking for happiness. You are not looking for fulfillment. You are certainly not looking for success. We are all creatures of spirit, and everything outside of that will ebb and flow away. Instead, listen. Listen silently, with your face under this brisk autumn sun, and let your heart whisper as she will.
She will tell you that you are seeking glory: those moments, bathed in warmth from above, when you can see yourself with pristine clarity, and you will know that this very moment, this is Heaven.
Photo by Bluedeviation